Ever since I remember I loved Halloween and vampires. I remember when I was six seeing a goth man with white contacts at a gas station and was fascinated by him. I always enjoyed the darker things since I can remember. But until sixth grade I had my hair in a high ponytail and wore..*gulp* pink dresses. My hair was still blonde at this time. I was an outcast then for being the weird and smart girl. Two girls during that time dressed in all black and listened to heavy metal. (They were transfer students.) I was inspired and I had just discovered Marilyn Manson and The Cure. I started wearing this ridiculous long and baggy black sweater along with my hair hanging in my face. I also had a pair of stompy boots I loved. The girls of course were angered and claimed I was just a copy cat. *snort* The most recent time I have seen them..they were all decked out in Abercrombie and Fitch. During this time my self esteem was very low. I wore baggy black clothing to hide myself in. I admit I was not very educated about the history of goth culture.
I went through a time not so long ago when I wore denim and light colored shirts due to deciding If I was really into goth culture and the clothing associated with it or if I just went through a phase.I started feeling uncomfortable in light colors. I had made myself get in a rut because I thought in my beginning stages of goth I had to wear all black all the time. Not true! But I have always loved the aesthetic of gothic clothing and anything that goes with the subculture. I came to realize that I feel very comfortable with dressing the way I do. I cannot really explain why I like creepy things and such. But I know that ever since I was a child I thought different and liked different things than everyone else. I am goth because, well this is me. I would not feel myself dressing any other way.
Strangely enough Marilyn Manson was an inspiration for me. I know he is not goth but he does have the aesthetic occasionally. His music taught me to not be afraid to be myself. Not to be ashamed to be unique. Not to be ashamed or feel weird to dress different than everyone else. I was bullied a lot and his music really helped me not focus on the psychological pain associated with bullying.
So I am goth because, I just am! I am an individual and I love dressing the way I do. I discovered goth through music,television, and different people who were goth. (This is just to sum things up)
So do you have a musical inspiration?
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| Sugar Skull makeup! I was bored. |
Actually, I do! Stevie Nicks. She has always been "different", although not necessarily goth (more gothic, I think). And as I grow older and know that I won't always look good in what I wear now, I remember how she dressed, and still dresses in her 60s, and I plan to do the same. A copy cat? Maybe, but who cares? And her music is timeless!
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