Midterms. Toothpaste, and smoking of the future!

So this week I have two midterms. (Yikes!) But I am not worried since they are easy subjects for me. (Criminal Law and Homicide Investigation) 

And you ask toothpaste? Well I am part of a website called Bzzagent. You get to try out new things. Some companies like word of mouth marketing and like to get real reviews from real people. I get to try toothpaste in odd flavors like vanilla mint, lime mint, and chocolate mint. I remember Crest a long time ago doing odd flavors and they did not last long in stores. 

I always love trying new things especially weird flavors. Tonight I am trying out the lime. The chocolate scares me a little but hey...it's worth a shot. 

On on to the smoking of the future! I have leaped onto the e-cig train and so far I love it. I really want to quit smoking normal cigarettes. The cost a lot, smell bad, and harm my health. I normally smoke almost a pack a day and now along with the e-cig I am down to one pack every two days. I have also seen absinthe and clove flavors of the e-juice. How very goth! I ordered Beetlejuice and Pumpkin King (pina colada and caramel apple) flavored juice from a website to deviate from my peppermint juice. (To mimic my menthol cigarettes.) Here is to quitting smoking!

Oh and I am a little more active on Youtube now so be sure to check out my channel!

The Missing Girl

I have been absent for a moment. My work schedule changed drastically and since Summer classes have started I have been busy nonstop. 

I do have some updates!

1. I am experimenting with extensions. Since I have been dying my hair forever I cannot get the beloved white streaks I desire. So I opted for micro link extensions. They are easy and last a good while. Plus little damage to my hair!

 

 

As seen here. I am in love.

 2. There is a chance I might be going to the body farm in Tennessee! 

3. I have started doing Youtube videos. You can find my channel here.

4. I am officially addicted to Pintrest. My manager told me about a board called "The House that Halloween built". It is full of spooky decor and home inspirations. Who knew my "normal" manager had a thing for Halloween and the macabre?

I suppose that is it for now. You can always add me on Facebook.

So has Pintrest wrapped it's tendrils around you yet?

Sephora Haul (Round 1) a rant and great news!

(This is a long post so prepare yourself.) I say round one because I place two orders from Sephora. I needed (and by needed I mean wanted) an Urban Decay Palette of some sorts in my life. I got the ammo palette because of it's price tag. For 34 USD you get ten colors of shadow, a brush, and a mini bottle of the primer potion. Not too bad me thinks.

Even though the palette was smaller than I thought. Oh well.

The colors are Smog,Mildew,Oil Slick,Last Call,Chopper,Maui Wowie, Shattered, Polyester Bride,Grifter, and Sin.

I think there are some colors in this palette that are in the Naked palette. The colors are very sparkly which is not everyone's cup of tea. This is a really versatile palette since you can do more neutral looks or party looks. Some of the colors honestly do not look good on their own. Last Call is really pretty with a matte black eye shadow. I am on the fence with oil slick since it is more glitter than black. It would be good to use over a black liner with a cat eye.

 

Look using Smog, Mildew, and Polyester Bride.

  I got me some more eye shadow brushes since I can always use more. This is Sephoras brand of brushes in the Cat Eye Duo. It has an all over shadow brush and a slanted liner brush. Using a coupon code from RetailMeNot I also got some freebies. (Skin Rescue Deep Cleanser, Dr. Dennis Gross Brightening Serum, Benefit Fake Up Under eye concealer, and Bumble and Bumble Surf shampoo and conditioner.)

So my rant is about a restaurant where I live. I wrote a negative review on Yelp because my experience was negative and the food horrible. The owner of said restaurant send me a gift certificate to make up for my experience and give the place another go. I saw good in this and yesterday went to use my gift certificate. The owner confronted me by saying I should not write bad things on the internet and say them to her face. I am hurting her business and I should feel bad. I felt as if I was paid off to write a good review. The food was good but I felt as if they were going out of their way to make it good. I updated the review to write a good one so the owner will not be on my back. But she left a bad taste in my mouth. I will not be back because I was told "You are wrong and I am right. Stop being a liar and ruining my business." I do not think I did anything wrong. 

 *exhales* So the good news is that I will soon be a vlogger! I am getting a webcam soon so expect videos from me very soon. Do tell me what kind of Youtube videos you would like to see. Have a spooky day.

X-Men OOTD!

This Memorial Day weekend has been so busy! Friday was a wedding rehearsal and bachelorlette party for my friends wedding. And Saturday was the wedding. (I was a bridesmaid!)

The colors of the wedding were black, purple, and white. Even though the venue changed last minute due to unforeseen events, I really think that the wedding was beautiful. Even though it was very hot that day I was so honored to be a bridesmaid and a part of the wedding. (And the bride looked beautiful.)

Sunday when I got off work my love and me went to his parents house and had some tasty Bar-B-Q. His dad is a damn good cook I might add. And to wrap up the weekend, since my love had Monday off, we saw the new X-Men movie. It was so humid! And the heat was in the theater as well. One would think they would keep movie theaters cool but ah well.

Skirt: Thrifted Tank top: DIY Sunglasses: Rue 21 Necklaces: DIY and Amazon

 I tried to dress cool without exposing my skin too much. I have really fallen in love with this skirt. The tank top is actually two pieces. I made a crop top from a dress (it had a really ugly design on the skirt part and did not suit my body type at all.) and a basic black tank top is underneath.

I did a basic smokey eye and a side braid since my hair is finally long enough to do so.

I found these sunglasses at Rue 21 and fell in love. I have been looking for a pair like these for a while now and grabbed them since they were on sale. I also have a clip in white streak. Honestly it is horrid and very synthetic. It only stays in if I have my skeleton hand hair clip to keep it in place. My next paycheck is going to be spent buying a human hair extension. Ladies at the hair place next to where I work say they will bleach it for free. I will be able to style the extension like I would my normal hair and it will stay in place. 

I realized after years of dying my hair, using bleach on it would obliterate my already damaged hair. The clip in will do just as well without any of the damage. 

And today I start my summer classes! Only three more classes after this semester and I am done with college. So did you have a busy weekend?

Mini Makeup Haul (Neutrals oh my!)

So after hearing much buzz about the Urban Decay Naked palette (and all its reincarnations) I decided to buy some more neutral shades of eye shadow. (Oh and I say neutral a lot in this post so prepare yourself.)

Granted I really do not like the look of browns on me (as clothing) these shadows are very lovely and can be used for something a little lighter for work or for a lazy makeup day. 

Behold! Wet N Wild three color palettes in Silent Treatment and Sweet as Candy. Oh and hello Dr. Frankenfurter!

With flash on left and without on right.

Silent Treatment does not transfer to picture as well as I thought. The bottom color is a mauve with tints of silver and brown. Since it is a complex color it looks different according to the light. The crease color is a dark brown with gold flecks. The gold does not really show up but it is still a lovely color. The brow bone color is a champagne color with some shimmer. In the picture below I used all the colors like the palette instructs.

With flash and in natural light. Oh the shimmer!

I really love these shadows and normally I am not too fond of browns without adding some black to darken them. I really recommend this palette for those experimenting with more neutral shades without wanting to pay a big price. (These were around 3 USD!)

With flash on left without flash on right.

The sweet as candy palette I am currently on the fence about. (And it looks like Neapolitan ice cream.) The pink color has undertones of gold and a more metallic shimmer. The crease color is a chocolate brown with a shimmer and the brow bone color is a warm white with a metallic shimmer. I do like all these colors but maybe not all together. The brow bone color when applied all over the lid and up to the brow bone combined with the brown in the crease is a wonderful and easy neutral look. But to me the pink just does not go with it. 

And finally a new mascara! The L'Oreal Miss Manga mascara. I do not have a picture because I totally ripped apart the package and tried it out. (No shame.) 

From Google Images

I am wearing one coat of this in the pictures in the color Black/Brown. I normally only buy black mascara but I am digging the black/brown because it gives a more natural look. Which is suitable for a more neutral look me thinks.

So do you like neutral colors? Would you ever experiment with them if you do not normally wear them?

Mothers Day, College, and Reader Request!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers! Oh and today is also my loves birthday! We had a lovely dinner with his family and I ate way too much...as usual..curse you delicious food!

Monday I have to register for classes since I took the Spring semester off. I really needed a semester off to clear my head and now I am ready to go back. I only have six more classes to take then I plan on getting an internship with the Alabama Bureau of Investigation so I can observe autopsies and what not. (Plus it looks great on a resume!)

My teacher for some of my classes used to be a homicide detective and he tells the best stories. (Some not for weak stomachs.) And my forensics teacher trained at the famous Body Farm in Tennessee. I am so lucky to be able to find a career that I love. My work schedule is back to the normal three to four days a week so that means I will actually have some off days.

I wanted to ask those that read my blog what kind of posts would you like to see on my blog? I always love to hear new ideas!

Source:Google Images

No Chips and a rant about black lipstick.

I know..another post in a span of two days?!
On my off day I went to TJ Maxx and randomly picked up a few things. I always struggle with keeping nail polish on for..get this..two days. I work with my hands a lot. It prevents me from even wanting to do my nails because I know the very next day they will be chipped away into oblivion. Enter my new holy grail top coat!

Essie No Chips Ahead Top Coat

This was found at TJ Maxx for around four bucks. I think it normally retails for around eight or so. I thought I should give this a try since other no chip top coats work...miserably. No chips they said, it will make your nails polish last they said. I have read other reviews about this stuff never drying. I apply my polish and wait at least an hour then apply this top coat and let it dry for around thirty minutes. It does take a minute to dry but it is well worth it. I was shocked that my nail polish today was not chipped.

So this means I can actually do my nails like a normal person!

Oh and in the title I mentioned a rant about black lipstick. Don't get me wrong I adore the look of black lipstick. But I have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with it.

Why must you betray me so?

1. It gets everywhere but your lips. On your loved one, on your face, and in your hair for some reason.
2. No matter how much I layer the lipstick there is always a faded spot in the middle of my lips.
3. Even using a lip liner it feathers.
4. I feel like I cannot speak or thing about drinking out of a straw without it becoming a kamikaze pilot on my face. No why are you shifting around on my lips?! STAHP!
5. If it is sunny outside I can feel the sun upon my lips. Soaking up the heat. This feels weird..no!

So is there a makeup product you love but hate? 

The Holy Grail of Thrifting and The Green Fairy.

Friday I did some much deserved thrift shopping. And boy...was I glad I did! The first store I shopped at I only found a vest and a tank top. But the real treasures were at the second place I shopped at.
Behold! (Pic Spam ahead!)

What was not shown was a Marvel shirt for my man and Stephen Kings Thinner. The Day of the Dead shirt is a large and I cut the back to make it actually fit me. I plan on cutting the sleeves so it can be a sleeveless top. The Manson shirt is a tad too small but ah well. The fate for the jack o lantern shirt is a crop top and the kitty shirt is already a long sleeved crop top. I took off the weird jewels on the cat shirt since one was already falling off  and it might be a sleeveless shirt soon.

I have tons of pants I do not wear so those will probably be shorts soon enough. I also tried absinthe for the first time! It tastes like licorice jelly beans and did not give me the hazy feeling that normal alcohol gives me. Instead I gain clarity. There is also a slight floating effect I get. If you can tolerate black licorice then I would definitely give the green fairy a try.

(These are the two I tried.)

So have you tried absinthe before?

Giger legs and why I stopped the April Horror Challenge.

So...I have been working almost seven days a week. My blog has been the least of my worries lately and I never want this blog to feel like a chore. I stopped doing the April horror challenge because I am so far behind on it. When I get off work all I really want to do is laze around. I am posting an OOTD from last week. (Sorry not sorry)

This outfit is the perfect example of the silhouette I love. And it shows how to wear leggings as pants. I love billowy and baggy tops paired with tight bottoms.

Oh look! Mr. Gargoyle and my front porch!

I am actually off all this weekend and I am not sure what to do with myself. I think today is a mandatory thrift shopping day. I really need to get clothes for Summer since the weather here is warming up fast and I am...not prepared. So are you prepared for Summer?

Etsy spotlight and bloggers block!

Today was cold! Yesterday it was in the 70's but today it suddenly changed into the 40's! Alabama weather is fickle and always changing. As usual I have been busy. I have been working every day and I am so exhausted!

I am sort of in a bloggers block (is that a real thing?) so I am stumped of what to do a post about! I decided on a spotlight for my friend Abby. She just opened up her first Etsy shop, Tyntee bird Treasures.Every bracelet she makes is one of a kind and there is a lot of love put into them.

She even said something about making a line called Tyntee bat for me! Do you support indie shops or do you know someone who runs an Etsy shop?

My favorite of her bracelets, Dream in Amber

Exorcists and Vampires! (April Horror Challenge)

I was going to go grocery shopping but the traffic and my aching feet told me no! This is more of the April Horror challenge I mentioned before. I am trying to lump days together. (I swear I am not cheating.)
Onward!

4. Your Favorite Werewolf Movie

Ginger Snaps

I am not too big on were-wolf movies but I have a soft spot for Ginger Snaps. What is worse than puberty? Puberty combined with the discovery that you are a were-wolf. Plus I love the outfits in this movie.

5. Your Favorite Monster Movie

The Fly

Does this count as a monster movie? I hope so. The Fly is disgusting and I mean that in the best way. If you can stomach gross horror than watch this if you have not already.

6. Your Favorite Vampire Movie

The Lost Boys

This movie has the best soundtrack! (And proper vampires burn in the sun.) The costumes in this movie are also so very amazing. Single earrings, bleach white hair, lots of leather, and motorcycles! I can watch this over and over and still be in love.


7. Your favorite supernatural film

The Exorcist

A horror classic with the best one liners. I had a black cat named Itchy and this was his favorite movie. He would hiss and growl when the channel was changed! He would sit in my lap watching the screen in awe. Itchy had good taste!

April Haul! Skeletons, bird skulls, and ghosts..oh my!

Today should not have been a good day. I woke up to crawl out of the bed and instantly fix my daily cup of coffee. But the coffee machine does not want to work today. My computer charger also decided to revolt and not work for me either.  Ugh first world problems.

Work has been..well work. And in May I shall return to college so I can finally get my degree! At TJ Maxx I found I cute blue bento box and a cookbook. (If you follow me on instagram you saw it already)

I purchased a recipe organizer also. Look at me turning into a kinda adult. I have so many cookbooks and hopefully this can solve some clutter in the kitchen. Spring is finally here in Alabama which means allergies! 
(And shopping for Summer clothes) Since I have also jumped on the bento wagon I needed some cute bento accessories to jazz up my lunch. Behold!

Pics from SugarFoxShop

I bought some food picks, cupcake liners, and various spooky cookie cutters from SugarFoxShop on Etsy. I plan to use the cookie cutters for sandwiches and cheese. I can totally deal with eating a sandwich in the shape of a coffin.

Other things purchased:

1. X-Ray skeleton leggings from Amazon
2. Black Magic exfoliating scrub from OHWTO on Etsy. This stuff is my holy grail for acne.
3. Bird Skull plugs from FearlessPlugs on Etsy. Mine are much bigger than what is shown. (5/8ths to be exact)
4. Etude House Real Art Light Cleansing Oil. I am trying to experiment with a cleansing oil to remove my makeup. Hopefully this does not break me out horribly.

My next post is going to be horror related since I made myself do the April Horror Challenge. I have been very absent in blog posts but life sometimes gets ahead of you!

April Horror Challenge! (and where I have been)

Lately I have been doing nothing but work. I am opening a lot more often (almost every day) and I am getting more hours than I ever have before. It is bittersweet. I get a better paycheck but I am exhausted. When I get home my body and mind is so tired. A blog post is honestly the last thing on my mind. (A nap is usually the first!) Around May I am going back to college since I took a semester off to clear my head. I really needed a refresher since I was starting to dread classes. I normally love going to classes! (In my realm, education is really fun.)

On Instagram I saw this cute little April Horror Challenge. For every day in April you answer a horror related question. Onward!

1. A horror film that no one would expect you to love but you do:

Event Horizon

I am not one for science fiction movies. There are a few I like but generally I do not watch them unless my man recommends them. (He is great at recommendations) The plot of this movie is a crew goes to check out a distress signal received from a crew on the Even Horizon that had disappeared seven years prior. The goal of the crew was to test an artificial black hole to make time travel easier. The crew finds evidence of a horrible massacre. The crew went insane and mutilated each other and themselves. They did open a gateway in space but this portal went outside of the known dimension and into a world of pure evil and chaos. This movie is a slow burn. The intense gory scenes are close to the end and the desolation of space is intense.


2. A horror film you relate to the most:

May

This film spotlights feeling like an outsider. Feeling weird and awkward around people. I feel very much like an outsider especially being a Goth in a small southern town. May just wants a friend!

3. Favorite Slasher

Micheal Myers

I am torn between Freddy and Micheal. But my love goes out to Mr. Myers! He is my favorite because he is most like real life serial killers. (As messed up as that sounds!) Serial killers fascinate me not due to the horror but more so with psychology. Micheal had a bad family life and was bullied. In his mind killing is just an everyday activity.

So do you like horror?

Spotlight: Nemi!

Nemi is a comic by Lisa Myhre. The main character Nemi loves heavy metal and has a sweet tooth. I decided to spotlight this comic because the character is like me in many ways. I showed my man some of the comics and he laughed and said, "Oh lord that is so you!"

The comic shows the lighter side of goth and Nemi seems to be a perky goth. All pictures were taken from the  Nemi Montoya Facebook page  and you can find Lisa's official website here! 

Why Nemi is my spirit animal:



Example One:

She says, "Don't mind if I don't."

I like color but only in my eye shadow and accessories. I would feel very strange in a neon green top.


Example Two:

Hehe

This is me with cute cuddly things. Or if I had a wand in my possession.


Example Three:

The cute cuddly things need homes! I need these stuffed gators! I need these fluffy bears! NEED!


Example Four:

Me and my man shed. We shed so much that I am surprised we are not both bald. The shower and sink get clogged. And there are tumble hairs that parade in the carpet. Clogged hair in drains....*shudders*

These really brighten my day. Do you have a favorite comic?

Girls on Film!

Well girls on camera. I spent time with some new friends yesterday. My man introduced me to these two lovely ladies last New Years Eve and I finally hung out with them. I actually got out of the house! Lately I realized that I do make friends but never hang out. I have this weird fear that if I get close to people I will loose them. This is due to incidents in my past where "friends" betrayed me.

But these gals are like minded and I really need some girl friends to hang out with since most of the people I hang out around are male. We took pics and I wanted to show off some of what was taken! There will be more but I am very pleased with the results so far. I kind of felt odd since I was the only one without a child there...but I am not ready for kids just yet. (Oh and one of the girls named her first daughter Violet!)

It was so very windy! The other girl, Cricket, is wearing my fishnet top and dress.

I really love this one. I like how my eyes kind of look like two different colors.

I am trying very hard not to be introverted. Getting out and interacting with people is really good for my mind.

March Loves and Lorde!

It has been very busy last week and this week I am working Monday through Thursday. (Phew!)
But me next paycheck is going to be awesome! My man is now working from 6 am to 2 pm so that means we get to spend a lot more time together. Random strange weather has been here going from bright and sunny to a bit of a cold chill. Alabama weather is fickle...very fickle.

Sources: Amazon.com, FuckYeahUrbanTribes, Google Images

Manic Panic Virgin pressed powder and Dreamtone foundation: 
This stuff was a slight splurge but since I found it on amazon I saved a little cash. I use the Dreamtone foundation to lighten up my concelor and my Holika Holika BB cream. The Virgin pressed powder is white also. I use a kabuki brush to lightly apply the powder since using a lot can make you look like a mime. When used in moderation both of these things give me a pale pallor and a slight glow.

Pointy Vampire Nails:
 I love the look of sharp pointed nails. I pointed mine but I my pinky nail broke off so I clipped all my nails. Back to growing them out to point them again!

Round sunglasses:
My sunglasses are usually huge. Like "I am hiding from the paparazzi" huge.  Or maybe I just have a small face? I love the new trend of giant circle sunglasses and I saw a relatively cheap pair on Amazon that I need...well...want.

Lorde:
She has better songs than "Royals" and I love her style. She wears giant chokers, chunky combat boots, and her hair is wild. And she rocks a dark lip like nobodies business. She writes her own songs and has macabre artistic inspirations. Her song Easy is haunting and talks about the loss of privacy.

So do you have a guilty pop pleasure?

Growing up adopted...prepare for feels.

To clear things up I will use the terms "biological mother" to refer to my well...birth mother, and "mother" to refer to my adopted mother.

My mother adopted me when I was three months old. She was a foster parent and always had a house full of kids. I was the youngest and the only girl that she adopted. My biological mother was not fit to take care of me. Due to the abuse she dealt with when she was younger it affected her so greatly she was perpetually stuck in a mental state of a child. As a baby I was in unfit living conditions and she was not able to properly take care of me. She did drugs and drank while pregnant with me so I ended up being born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Also due to the drug use I was born premature and I had to have a heart monitor that would go off if my heart beat was not normal or it stopped beating. I did not cry like a healthy baby would and I did not like being touched.

I harbor no resentment towards my biological mother. My biological family is very messed up. Drug use, mental disorders and abuse run wild throughout the family. She did the right thing by putting me up for adoption. My mother had only one biological child, a daughter, that died when she was close to the age I was adopted. I really think that is a big reason why we have so strong of a bond.

I have always known I was adopted. My mother felt that I should know why I was adopted so when I was eighteen she let me read the files on my adoption so I know more about it. I have one blood brother and one half brother but I have never met my half brother since meeting him would mean I would meet my biological mother. Honestly I have no need to meet her. The woman that adopted me is my mother. She raised me to be the person I am today. She raised me to be strong and independent. She is older (in her 70's) and it never failed that someone would call her my grandmother. This infuriates me to no end.

My mothers family..well that is a different story. Sometimes I feel like they do not like me since I am "not real family" and I resent them sometimes. Certain family members do not approve of the way I dress or the career I am pursuing. But my mother knows I am happy and she has no shame in what I do. She once wore all black for a time to get underneath their skin. She is happy if I am happy. She knows the way I dress does not define my life and I am pursuing a career that will make me happy.

So, do you know someone who is adopted? Would you consider adoption?

I'm A Real Goth Now!

So with the help of Nephilim Incorruptus the look of this blog has changed. And you may notice that it says I am a "real Goth" but what exactly is a real Goth? Nephilim suggested that the "real" aspect be due to the fact that I am down to earth.

Goth culture began to spread in the 1980's as an offshoot of the post-punk scene. But if you go further back the term "Gothic Literature" was used to describe works that combined elements of romance and horror. I have said before that being Goth does not mean you have to love Sisters of Mercy or Bauhaus. *gasp*

Some may disagree but being Goth is NOT all about the music you listen to. Being Goth is a lifestyle. It is more than clove cigarettes and fishnets. It is Romance and Horror. It is finding beauty in the darkest places. It is embracing that darkness instead of turning away from it. Being Goth is about not following the modern standards of beauty.

A "Real Goth" does not condemn those just because they do not like Dead Can Dance. A "Real Goth" may not follow many offshoots and sub-genres within Goth but they accept them. I may ruffle some feathers...but frankly..I could care less.

So, what is the definition of a "Real Goth" to you?

Source: Tumblr

Creatures of the Night Assemble!

Can "Creatures of the Night" be like the Goth version of Avengers? I want this to be a thing. (Insert Robert Smith in battle gear here.)


I decided to do a little post about Goth Problems...because the struggles are real.

1. Getting candle wax on ALL THE THINGS.

Wax on the dresser, wax on the sink, wax on my books...WAX.

2. Getting black lipstick on ALL THE THINGS.

It smears like a vengeance and ends up on every surface. Like your face (nowhere near your lips.) and anything you have eaten or thought of eaten.

3. Being a blonde and having a hatred filled relationship with black dye. 

*Dyes Hair* *Roots pop up mysteriously* WHY?!

4. Blacks never match.

Ah the beauty of many hues of black. First washed black, never washed black, and borderline grey.

5.  Not knowing how to do "no makeup-makeup"

What? I can do lovely smokey eyes...that does not count? Screw it I will just go out in no makeup.

6. Not enough Hallowen themed things.

One does not simply have one Halloween themed item. I have 49309 jack o lantern themed things in my house...but I need more!!!!

7. Hello Halloween...goodbye money.

See number six.

8. When BDSM or Gothic architecture is mentioned, all eyes are on you.

*sinks into chair*

9. The felling of supiriority when you have to wear all black at a job. 

*victory dance* I don't have to buy new things!!!


And last but not least.....

10. The fact that your closet is one big black hole. 

Literally. It all merges together into one big blob. I need a flashlight to find a shirt...*sigh*

New Necklace! I NEED a glow in the dark skeleton necklace.

Current Loves: The shoe and acessory edition!

I decided to group my current loves into categories like just shoes or just tops. I also have plans to post more makeup tutorials since I have a new phone that has a good camera. Hello technology!

Also the picture uploader on Blogger is being strange so for now I will just post links. Much apologies.

Shoes!


1. UNIF Trench High Boot.

These are pricey but so drool worthy.

2. Demonia Stomp 300 boots

These remind me of the movie The Craft due to their 90's chunkiness.

3. Madden Girl Duff wedges

I need some wedges for summer!



Acessories!

1. Skull choker

Reminds me of something Lenore the little dead girl would wear.

2. Hellbound Heart Hellraiser Necklace

Hellraiser! Pinhead! *hyperventilates*

3. Faraway Look Shades

I need these circle sun glasses in my life. NEED.

Super Duper Serious Goth!

On a constant basis I see goths who take themselves way too seriously. They argue that you are not Goth unless you wear all black yet preach about "being yourself". They say the cute little Monster High Dolls are not Goth and are mainstream. (I do not care who knows those dolls are so cute! What is so mainstream about a vampire who swoons at the sight of blood?)  I may not be the gothiest goth in the graveyard by some standards but I love who I am. I used to think in my baby bat days that I was supposed to be this deep and dark creature of the night. I am far from deep and dark. I love to read about serial killers yet pictures of cute bats sends me into screams of joy.

If I always took myself so seriously I would just be no fun at all. I do long to make real life gothy friends but if I strictly based my friends on the clothes they wear....I would have few friends indeed. I do have moments of depression where I laze in pajamas and cry. But we all need this moment once in a while. I prefer to bounce around in combat boots and smile.

If you skulk around all miserable...then you are just perpetuating the stereotype that all goths are miserable. Some stereotypes are fun to embrace such as hanging out in cemeteries and Halloween being the equivalent of Goth Christmas. I look back at pictures from my childhood and think about how my mother should never cut hair. I look back and remember how I would try to be "sooooo goth". This caused me to go into a rut and I moved away from the attire but kept the same interests. I realized I do not have to be in a dress code all the time. The clothing does not define me....I define me! I do not wear all black because I have to...I wear all black because I want to.


Also what would you like to see more of on this blog? I am trying to change this blog and improve it.

Pink Eyeshadow and Big Changes!

It has been a minute since I wrote a post. I have been feeling that having a blog is useless since I have less than five followers and such. But I am changing up the look of my blog and will be posting more "controversial" things rather than strictly goth related posts. Controversial as in..talked about more within the goth community. I have a new banner on the way all thanks to the wonderful Nephilim Incorruptus.

Changes are coming!

For Valentines Day my love had to work and we decided to get each other gifts we wanted instead of chocolate or roses. Roses are not my favorite flower and I can get chocolate anytime! This year he got me a shirt I have been lusting after.

Source:Blackcraftcult.com

 A shirt from Black Craft Cult! It actually arrived today so I got to wear it out and about! He works today so I just got myself dressed up, ate sushi, and thrift shopped. He also is giving me a bookshelf that he built when he was younger. It needs a little paint but it will make a good project for both of us to work on. Tonight I am making his favorite meal and bringing him his lunch. We do not need a fancy dinner out to know we love each other! And today I actually experimented with pink eye shadow. It is rare I wear it and today seemed suitable. 

The plans for tonight include a well deserved relaxing bath and white chocolate macadamia cookies. Also the blog itself has changed and more changes will be coming. So do you like the new look so far? Do you celebrate Valentines Day?

Snow, Updates, and a haunting!

Yes...snow..in Alabama. Luckily the snow started after when I was already at work. But there is the risk of the roads being closed and/or icing over tomorrow if the temperature keeps dropping. If that is the case then this bat is not going to go to work tomorrow!

Also an update with my resolution. I am down to one sugar free drink a day. This is a big goal for me since I drank Coca cola like it was going out of style. I noticed that I crave the carbonation more  than anything. My substitutions have been sugar free fizzy flavored water,hot tea (PG tips with vanilla cream..yum!) and sports drinks (Gatorade,Powerade). I really need to invest in a water filtration unit for our sink since our water does not taste good at all and has a tendency to be slightly brown at moments. I have to force myself to drink water. My mother had very good advice by telling me to get sodium free bubbly water and add some lemon to it. Or add the bubbly water to low sugar juice.

I also learned some interesting news. My old home (when I still lived with my mother) was the place of many strange events! The place was abandoned for a while and my mother got it very cheap. Often we would hear the sound of glasses breaking (no actual glass broken when we checked) and when I would take a shower I would see people moving in the curtain and feel hands on my back. My lovable childhood dog would sleep in my bed during the cold months, and one night I awoke to find him snarling his teeth at nothing. I had a feeling of pressure on my neck and it felt like I was paralyzed. I learned that in the past a wake was held in the dining area (with the woman's coffin set up of course.) a man accidentally shot himself near the back door and my mothers room was where someone she knew died in. This really explains all the weird stuff that occurred.

So have you experienced a haunted home before?

Taken in the parking lot of where I work. Snow!

Nighshade and Company Review!

I am always drawn to things with a darker aesthetic. And I try to search Etsy for beauty items that have a well...darker edge. Sorry but I do not want butterflies or pink dancing around. Nope not for me. I want skulls and human hearts. So I found this shop NightShade and Company.  Everything is priced excellent and everything has a certain darkness to it that I love.

Onward to the review!


Shipping was super fast. I ordered everything the 18th and received it the 24th. The estimated TAT was 2-4 days and it was shipped on the 23rd...woah. Everything was wrapped in silver or black paper and secured in bubble wrap. There was even a little thank you note and some free samples to try! I love when indie companies do this. To me it shows that they care about their customers. I got the following:

The Heroines of Horror Sugared Lip Scrub in Wendy Torrence's Winter Lodge Mint.

Source: NightshadeandCompany shop

First of all...RUDRUM! REDRUM! This is described as an edible and functional sugar scrub for exfoliating lips. My lips tend to get chapped very easily. This does have a pleasant and sweet mint taste. I must remind myself that this is not for eating. Do not eat this...use this on your lips...must resist.


The Woman in White Perfume Oil

Source:NightshadeandCompany shop

"The Woman in White ~ a hauntingly beautiful blend of sweet champa flowers shrouded in sacred resins, rose petals and lavender blossom."

This in itself was a gamble for me. Normally I do not like floral perfumes. On me rose scents morph into well...old lady perfume. But I think I hit the Holy Grail of florals. This smells like jasmine incense on me. The flowers are slight but the resins really give it depth. This smells so very similar to an incense I burn. Yes!

The Scream Queen perfume oil

"It starts off with a rush of sexysweet cherry, followed by a hint of spicy clove. Middle notes of Pink Lotus Flower (pure essential oil), vanilla bean and other tantalizing secret ingredients round out this innocent yet formidable perfume oil."

At first this is pure cherry. Well..more like cherry flavored clove cigarettes. It then dies down to a a soft and sweet musk. This me thinks would make a great summer/spring scent. Love!




A Sample of The Dark Heroine cream

"The Dark Heroine is a curious combination of violet flowers blended with patchouli and tobacco leaf. Add a touch of vanilla bean and a few bits of this and that...and you'll be ready to kick ass on any malodorous creature that crosses your path."

The description of this tempted me so. Oh the temptations! It smells like a head shop...it smells like a perfume adult Wednesday Addams would wear. Dark yet sweet. I am definitely getting a full sized oil of this one. 

A Sample of The Sisters Grimm perfume oil

"The Sisters Grimm...made with poison apple, cedarwood (from the dark forest), labdanum and a hint of burnt sugar (straight from the witch's cottage in Hansel and Gretel) is likely one of our most tragic and misunderstood fragrances."

At first application I get..apple and something reminding me of dusty books. Interesting. I am not really getting the labdanum but it does dry down to a soft apple and burnt sugar scent. I am on the fence about this one. Must be the apple...not my favorite scent but it is nice. Just not for me.


My next purchase from this shop (That I just added to my cart on Etsy.) Is the Nightshade and Company Simply astounding smelling salts, Clarice Starling's FBI black coffee sugar scrub, and of course a full size of The Dark Heroine. I thing the smelling salts will be great for a pick me up at work since one can only drink so much coffee without becoming a jittery fool. I have too much access to espresso.

 

About my beliefs!

 I decided I do a post about my religion and my beliefs. But let us remember that I do not condemn a person if they have a different religion than me. I do not "hate" those that spread lies about my religion. Well actually I do not really "hate" in general. It is very polluting. If you disagree with my beliefs so be it. But do not try to say "I am right and you are wrong!" because nobody has time for that nonsense.

I will try to break this down into a sort of question and answer type thing. Just for better read-ability. Onward!


What do you believe?
Theistic satanists recognize Lucifer as a god-form or a deity. Those that follow the teachings of Anton Lavey believe that Lucifer is merely a symbol to encourage their faith. I also practice meditation, tarot card reading, and various forms of magic. Lucifer in my belief is not the same Lucifer portrayed in Christian beliefs. He provides for me and he in times is often a father figure to me. (As in teaching me ways to become a better person.)

Do you have philosophies or morals?
I try to make the most out of life. I try to avoid self-hatred and hatred towards others. Because like I said hate is so prevalent and hate is polluting. If you always hate you can never grow as a person. You become stagnant. I do not seek harm on others unless I have to for me protection. Self defense you could say. There is a wide belief that Satanists use only destructive black magic. This is wrong and an old stereotype. I do follow some rules of Lavey such as: Do not harm children and do not kill and animal unless attacked or for food. I try to better myself as a person and expand my mind.


Do you sacrifice animals or encourage violence?
This is just hog wash. No satanic ritual involves animal sacrifice. This is just a form of propaganda used to "prove" to others how "wicked and corrupt" Satanists are. In my branch of Satanism violence is NEVER the answer. This is why I have never gotten in any sort of physical confrontation. I try to use my wit and words to fight. Media likes to hype "violent satanists" and it is exactly that...hype.

Do you hate Christians?
No. In satanism individuality is celebrated. You should not be shamed of who you are or what your interests are and you should not persecute others for no agreeing with you. Disliking someone is natural but just because you do not have the same interests I do does not mean I hate you. Just like I said in the beginning, I try not to "hate" anyone.

Do you burn churches?
NO! There is a rite of blasphemy in satanism, but this is just a representation of breaking yourself away from the Christian faith. Never does anyone need to defile any place for their personal gain or enjoyment. There has been church burnings before in the name of Satan. But the people that do things such as this are looked as pariahs in the community. They are just giving us a bad name!


Do you believe in God?
I do not believe in the Christian "God". But I do believe in an opposing force. There must always be light and dark in this world. It is the balance of things. You cannot have bad without good.


If I was to go into depth my religion..well, this would be a very long post. So here are some links that explain more about Spiritual Satanism.

http://www.spiritualsatanist.com/

Diary of a Satanist

Satan's Den

Source: Google Images